See ya later, Grandma June
This past Saturday, April 13th, we had a lovely service honoring the long and full life of my dear Gram and laid her to rest.
Below is the eulogy I shared at her service.
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Have you ever had such a strong feeling in your heart you wanted to express, but words just fall short of expressing what you feel? Well that’s how I feel about my Gram.
How in the world do you sum up the life of someone so special in just a few moments?
I started reflecting on some of the great memories of her… teaching me to garden, sew, and do various other farm chores, riding the donkeys, playing games (she took Monopoly very seriously and almost always won!), cooking, stitching up pig’s stomach, doing puzzles, going to baseball games, playing lawn games, painting nails, doing foot rubs, Making homemade ice cream… so many fun times!
I remember the joy and excitement she had whenever she would learn that she was expecting another great-grandchild and celebrating them with us. She saw the vision with my husband and I 13 years ago in an overgrown property with a run down, dilapidated old farmhouse and supported us realizing this dream in many ways, including showing up with her own tools to clean up and demolish as we made it our own.
A lot of my memories feel like a lifetime ago, since dementia had started changing Gram over the past 11 years…
Loving someone suffering from dementia is a grief all its own, as we have lost parts of her over the years, but yet she was still here. I’m thankful she is no longer suffering but I will always miss having her in my present life.
As I look back and think about what impacted me the most about my Grandma June, I think about the memories I have cooking and baking with her, and it makes me think of some of the “ingredients” that are part of a life that impacts and inspires others. No worries – it’s not a secret recipe – I’d like to share it with you now.
Ingredient #1:
work hard and play hard
Gram always worked hard -whether she was gardening, taking care of their farm animals, shoveling manure, helping my pop pop with a building project, pulling weeds, or running her picture frame shop, I always remember her being a strong and hard worker.
But she also knew how to have fun too! Some of her hobbies were sewing, quilting, doing puzzles, playing board games and card games, lawn games like croquet and bean bags, doing crossword puzzles, playing tennis, watching sports, spending time with family and more..
Often my Gram was seen with a smile on her face. But there were some things that made her face just light up! Competitive Games, grandkids, great-grandkids and FIRES were some of her biggest passions!
A unique interest Gram had was getting knots out of things – from necklaces to shoelaces to string… in fact, for her 80th birthday, my husband gave her a rope he had knotted up like crazy… when she was opening her gifts after the party, she was determined to get all those knots out before opening the rest of her gifts. She really enjoyed that!
She had a fierce determination when playing games. She always played fairly, but she was also pretty cutthroat! There was no mercy! If she had the opportunity, she would scoop up Boardwalk and Park Place in Monopoly and quickly make you bankrupt – and with a smile on her face – no apologies!
She never stopped playing or taking on a challenge! At Almost 84 years old, she fell and broke her hip. It’s not that uncommon for senior citizens to fall… but not that common to do so trying to shoot basketball at her age! She loved a challenge and her age never stopped her from trying!
Ingredient #2
Laugh often – even at yourself!
Numerous times I can remember , during various activities, Gram would lose her balance and fall .. either running backwards playing tennis, ping pong or even just walking and slipping in the mud … of course we always had concern and checked on her, and nearly every time she couldn’t get right back up. Not because she was hurt, but because she couldn’t stop laughing. She was never afraid to laugh at her mistakes or fumbles.
It didn’t take much to get Gram laughing – and she Even laughed at my dad’s cheesy jokes – usually she was the only one! But I know he appreciated it!
But Gram loved to be silly- from dressing like a clown and coming to my birthday party when I was as a kid- to taking the time to wrap birthday and Christmas gifts multiple times into a bigger box, then another bigger box and even bigger boxes , making it take forever to open them and thinking you’d never be done!
She was so creative and enjoyed making things fun.
I know her gift of laughter and fun got passed down to my mom because some of the greatest ideas that my mom came up with during our pandemic visits to grandma June in the nursing home… it had been about eight months of not being able to go in and see her at all. But When we finally were able to visit outside, behind a piece of plexiglass, my mom would bring puppets and all sorts of other silly props so that we could still interact with grandma June and find some way to be connected to her, since by that time, Gram wasn’t really engaging in much conversation anymore. I saw flexibility and resilience in my mom in dealing with these completely unimaginable and unprecedented times. My mom found ways to make it light and fun, despite very less than ideal circumstances. Mom loved Gram so well. Even when her heart was breaking and she was grieving the loss of who Gram was, And how the dementia had changed her. This example impacted me as well. I know Gram appreciated how much both of her daughters and the rest of her family cared for her and showed love to her, as her conditioned progressed and she needed more and more care.
Ingredient #3:
Immerse yourself in someone else’s world
One thing that was so impacting, looking back, is that Gram was always genuinely interested in what was going on in my life. She asked about the things I was into, came to watch or would even do them with me.
She offered me my first job at her picture frame shop around age 7 or 8, doing odd little cleaning jobs and random tasks. She even gave me a time card to fill out and paid me for the work. Boy- did that really mean a lot to me! She showed me how she did the books at the end of the night. I learned so many business and financial skills from Gram’s mentoring and example. She could tell I had an interest in this area and she poured into that.
When I was 10 years old, gram and pop moved to Tennessee. I was heartbroken and missed them dearly. But Gram became my pen pal and I still treasure the letters we wrote back and forth to each other during those 6 years… she didn’t even mind when I corrected her spelling and once she it confirmed with the dictionary, she would let me know and do her best to spell it correctly going forward.
I always felt like Gram was one of my biggest cheerleaders – not only did she always take an interest in what I was doing, but she spoke truth when she needed to, challenged me to live out my faith, and for sure I know she was always praying.
She showed up – and I don’t mean just for the fun and easy times, like birthday parties and dinners – I mean in her mid-70s, she came over to my house with all her own tools and safety equipment, and she helped me smash the tile walls and floor out of our house to renovate it.
She did so many projects with us and was always willing to do whatever we needed done. I will say her favorite job was tending the fire when we needed to burn things. If she was over and would see a pile of brush on the burn pile, she would say “you better not burn that without me!”
Ingredient #4:
Embrace the hard times – and Know where your strength comes from
I watched Gram go through some incredibly difficult times, including sitting by her husband’s side, holding his hand as he breathed his last breath nearly 18 years ago, and facing various health challenges of her own – always drawing on her faith and strength in the Lord. During some of the tough times, she would find something to keep it light and say “if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry!”
Gram had a strong faith in God, which was the guiding force in her life.
Gram greatly inspired me, but she wasn’t perfect by any means. It was in her weakness and struggles that showed who she really was, and where she gained her strength. Gram was one of the strongest women I’ve ever known, but that wasn’t because SHE was strong, but because she knew that in her own weakness, she needed the Lord’s strength.
Gram like to be resourceful and plan ahead. When I was a kid, she would buy me clothing, but always a size or two ahead, so I could get more use out of it …
When I was around 8 or 9 years old, she made me a bathrobe for Christmas. She never did figure out where she went wrong, but let’s just say the pattern ran a little big or something … eventually I WAS able to grow into it – and actually it still fits me now and is a special and funny remembrance of her!
Speaking of planning ahead, Gram would often mention about the future and if there was anything she had that anyone wanted when she wasn’t here with us anymore. She always had such a peace about her forever home, and embraced the reality that her life here was temporary. As much as I didn’t want to think about losing her, I had a peace knowing she was so secure in her eternal resting place.
So – like I asked before –
How in the world do you sum up the life of someone so special in just a few moments … ?? With just one word ——-
Jesus
HE’S who she found her identity in. And HE’S who she lived for. And I know HE’S who she is spending eternity with.
https://www.bachmankulikreinsmith.com/obituary/june-diehl
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